My mom tells of the story of how I originally was interested in cooking (evidenced by the cookware I asked Santa Claus one Christmas) but I guess, that didn’t work out.  For as long as I remember, my interest was in books.  I remember the Nancy Drew books that I would read over and over.  We didn’t have a lot of money to buy lots of the Nancy Drew books but what we had or what we can borrow from my cousins sufficed.  For some time it was the Sweet Dreams books but I remember having one of my dad’s books, which I would read alternately with the Sweet Dreams.  I remember having a piece of paper as a bookmark and I would write all the big words that I didn’t understand - these words I checked with our dictionary later.

It was those thick James Michener books when I was around 12.  For the most part, I just wanted to prove to myself (and to my dad) that I can finish a thick book.  Then my dad gave me the John Le Carre spy books, which I still like up to now.  In no time, I was choosing my own books - first from my dad’s old (and musty) stock and then with my own money.

I was mostly reading fiction and was interested in those that get nominated for awards (because I wanted to check what the all the attention was about).  I steered away from the commercial authors (I read Grisham but I liked the other legal thrillers, for instance).  I shifted from legal to chickreads and to award winners.

And then I found myself liking non-fiction but mostly biographies of historical figures.  That didn’t last long.  Then I recently shifted to management books.  In all these years, I steered myself away from self-help books.  I’m not sure why I didn’t like self-help or inspirational books but I’m finding myself that I’m liking inspirational books now.

Why this long winded entry on books?  Well, because I’m finding out that after all these years, after all those books, after everything that I’ve done in my life, I’m still a seeker.  But now, I’m not seeking what I can and can not do, not trying to get ahead in my career.  I’m just trying to find out more about myself, trying to find out what I can do to be a better person.

So I find myself reading about fellow seekers.  I’ve just finished Eat, Pray, Love.  I’m staring The Power of Now and when I was just starting this book, I found out why I have steered away from books of this kind.  I find that what they say is something that I have heard before or something I’ve read before but maybe I just didn’t pay attention or just didn’t notice.

And now, I’m paying attention.  And now, I’m seeking to understand.  Maybe I have moved into another phase in my life.  Maybe I’m maturing.  Maybe I’m on my way to becoming a better person.  Whatever that means.

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